An Essential Defensive Shield
We need to worry about mind control. There are sinister forces afoot. Neighbours, colleagues, government, aliens. You know the kind of 'people'. Ready to sap every living sensible thought out of your brain and fill it full instead with their nefarious schemes. So, last night I discovered the perfect answer - a tin foil hat. Yes. And it looks cool.
So cool, in fact, dear daughter made me one...
Nice. By the way, that shiny bit on top is foil, not my usual head, stupid.
Now I can read those liberal, feminist authors on Ruth and remain completely immune from their pernicious propoganda. Ha.
You should make one too. But if you are not confident, don't worry. You could buy one.
Oh, and just one other thing. Please, keep this hush-hush. I don't want to get thrown off the Warfield List.